The big adjustment

10:38am Monday 17th November 2008

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Everyone says when you're pregnant that your life is about to change forever. Make the most of time with your husband, they say, because you won't have time just you or without the responsibility ever again.

I always thought I understood this but it doesn't really hit home until the baby arrives does it.

Once the initial excitement is over the reality does set in though. Here in my little home is a tiny bundle of gorgeousness that dominates my every waking (and sleeping) hour and demands more of my time than anything I have ever experienced.

If I am not feeding him, changing his nappies or settling him to sleep, I am sterilising bottles, washing his clothes or shopping for his supplies.

It is really tough, I can't deny that. And anyone expecting or thinking of having a child won't be able to fully comprehend just how demanding it is until they are here in the thick of it.

As every day goes by I feel like I understand him a little bit more. I am less scared to leave him to cry. I don't worry every time he catches his breath or coughes on his milk. I know when he needs a burp or is about to wee in either mine or his face and I know when he's hungry and when he's full. And that in itself is fascinating and exhilirating.

But it is a challenge. Anyone who has been properly sleep deprived can understand what it does to your patience and tolerance. And coupling that with a baby who you might understand but then throws you a curve ball or wakes up an hour before he's due to be fed and doesn't want to settle or picks up a cold and suddenly wants feeding on demand is not easy.

Essentially I am adjusting. To having very little sleep, to caring for such a tiny baby who requires so much, to having to muddle my way through this maze with my husband as we together establish a shift in our relationship - after all, we're parents now.

But you know, I considered this decision, and when I look at him (especially when he's asleep!) I remember how utterly blessed I am. He is just so wonderful and precious and my only real fear in all this is I might eat him up because he's just edible.